No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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