I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
