i may or may not be watching the land before time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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