i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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