My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize