I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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