Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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