Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
