high people should be assigned attendants
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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