You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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