What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
