Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
there is glitter all over my balls
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
