Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
