Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
