found the other keg... it's in the tree
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize