Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
