I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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