Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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