Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
