i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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