Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
how drunk are you?
Several
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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