I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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