his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
