Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
