He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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