i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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