i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
