2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
