Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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