Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
