I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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