worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize