Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
