we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
