No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
