And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
two words...techno handjob
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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