As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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