my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
