i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
