I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
