toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize