Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
bring money and cleavage
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
