new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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