I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
