Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
