oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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