member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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