No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
