just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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