The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Randomize
