so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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