Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
