just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
