I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
