don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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