seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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