There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
