They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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