i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
