So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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