we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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