Are we in a gay sports bar?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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