Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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