Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
