i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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