If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
